Public Speakers! 12 Tips For How to Relax Just Minutes Before You Speak

You're sitting there waiting to speak. You feel the tension creeping into your shoulders, your thighs. Your stomach tightens up. Maybe your mouth gets dry. And the confidence and enthusiasm you felt a minute ago starts wobbling.

Now's the time to get up from wherever you are, excuse yourself and head for any place (even the restroom) where you can have five minutes alone. That's really all you need--just those few minutes to do these easy exercises and get your blood flowing, your muscles unlocked and your confidence back in place.

Relax

Your body, your vocal cords, your brain are all connected in such a manner that tension in one affects the others and makes it difficult to focus on your message. This is not news to you, right? You may already have noticed that if your knees are quaking, your voice may be shaking, and your memory may be forsaking you!

Public Speakers! 12 Tips For How to Relax Just Minutes Before You Speak

What you want to do is break that connection, which only reinforces the discomfort, in as many ways as you can so that every part of you is supporting, rather than sabotaging your presentation.

If you can spend five minutes in a room by yourself just before you speak, do these simple exercises: (If you can't, scroll down; there's help for you, too.)

• Stretch your body up and around, and gently bend over.
• Take some good deep belly breaths. Make your ribs and back work.
• Stretch your face into funny shapes to get it loose and relaxed.
• Make your eyebrows go way up, and your eyes open very wide.
• Sigh deeply several times.
• Hum.
• Stick your tongue out.
• Do tongue trills.
• Pant. (This is particularly effective to release any tension around your middle.)
• Flop--really flop--over as far as you can easily. Be sure your head flops all the way down. Holding your neck and head up creates more tension and is counterproductive!)
• Smile.
• Remind yourself that you are going to enjoy yourself while you're being terrific!
Now, if you're at the head table, or firmly planted on the stage or elsewhere, and haven't a chance of escaping before you speak, there are still things you can do to keep your body from freezing in place. Depending on your situation, you can use one of these breathing relaxers:
• Inhale for a slow count of one, exhale for a slow count of two. It's easy to look as though you're listening attentively to someone while you do this.
• If you can get away with it, double the counts to two and four. (Best not to allow your eyes to glaze over.)
• Wiggle your toes.
If you're lucky enough that the tablecloth extends to the floor, you're in good shape!
• Wiggle you toes. Do tiptoes. Circle your ankles.
• Put your hands under the table and wiggle your fingers and circle your wrists.
• No matter how long or short the tablecloth is, SMILE!

If you're in handcuffs, footcuffs, headcuffs and bellybuttoncuffs you may be out of luck. However, there's always Imagining! Science is telling us that our brains cannot distinguish between a real and a fancied experience.

So fancy for all you're worth! What've you got to lose?

Public Speakers! 12 Tips For How to Relax Just Minutes Before You Speak

Carole McMichaels, Speaker, Coach, Author: Fearless Public Speaking: How to Get Rid of Your Stage Fright and Prepare and Deliver a Winning Presentation, invites you to join her free newsletter on speaking in public. You may also get your free report, "7 Valuable Tips on Writing a Mind-Gripping Speech". http://getridofpublicspeakingfears.com/

How to Recognize Stress Before it Turns Into Anger

After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled into his driveway. The children's toys were scattered on the walkway to the house.

He immediately began noticing slight tension in his muscles and apprehension in his stomach. Entering his house, his wife ignored him while she talked with her sister on the telephone. His heart started beating a little faster.

Stress

Looking around, he noticed disarray; nothing was picked up, the house was a mess. Irritation and frustration started to settle in. Finally, as his feelings grew, he exploded and began yelling at his wife and children.

How to Recognize Stress Before it Turns Into Anger

Stress may trigger anger:

Stress is often the trigger that takes us from feeling peaceful to experiencing uncomfortable angry feelings in many common situations such as the one described above.

Stress is most easily defined as a series of bodily responses to demands made upon us called stressors.

These "demands" or stressors can be negative (such as coping with a driver who cuts in front of you on the freeway) or positive (such as keeping on a tour schedule while on vacation).

Stressors may be external to you (like work pressure) or internal (like expectations you have of yourself or feeling guilty about something you did or want to do).

Whether the stressor is external or internal, scientists have discovered that the major systems of the body work together to provide one of the human organism's most powerful and sophisticated defenses; the stress response which you may know better as "fight-or-flight."

This response helps you to cope with stressors in your life. To do so, it activates and coordinates the brain, glands, hormones, immune system, heart, blood and lungs.

Avoid Jim's destructive behavior toward his loved ones. Before your stress response turns into anger or aggression, use these strategies to get it under control:

Read your personal warning lights: Becoming aware of your stress response is the first step to managing it. This means listening to your body, being aware of your negative emotions, and observing your own behavior when under stress.

For instance, notice muscle tension, pounding heart, raising voice, irritation, dry mouth, or erratic movements.

What you see is what you get: For a potential stressor to affect us -stress us out - we have to first perceive it or experience it as a stressor.

Gaining a new perspective on the stressing situation can often drastically change the effect it has on us. Our stress response can indeed be a response (something we can control) instead of a knee-jerk reaction (which is automatic).

Examples: Cut off on the freeway? "It is not personal. That guy has a problem. I will stay calm." Bullied by a co-worker? "If I react, he wins. Later, I will privately let him know how I feel about what he did. If that doesn't work, I'll discuss it with our manager."

Stress-Guard your life: You can also make many life-style changes to reduce or minimize feeling stressed-out, even if you can't change some of your actual stressors

For instance, manage your time better, establish priorities, protect yourself from toxic relationships, and find a way to manage your money better, or consider changing your job or occupation.

Other stress-guards include those you have probably heard before, but maybe need to do more frequently such as:

getting adequate rest,
eating a healthy diet,
avoiding excessive alcohol intake,
living in a way consistent with your core personal values,
developing social networks of friends and support.

Stress is most easily defined as a series of bodily responses to demands made upon us called stressors. It's important to recognize these stress responses and develop techniques to lessen the impact.

How to Recognize Stress Before it Turns Into Anger

Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist, and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his free monthly newsletter "Taming The Anger Bee" at www.angercoach.com and receive two bonus reports.